Forty Paces
by The Black Sun's Daughter
Summary: That was all it took. Forty paces to the white line.


The night that Nick Cutter decided to separate from his dæmon Dìonadair, the moon was full and bright. That was the one thing he always remembered, even twenty years later, how the moon seemed almost surreally bright that night, as if the lunar body wanted to ensure they had enough light to see what they were doing clearly. He had waited until it was the very dead of night before climbing out his bedroom window and making his way across town to the separation lot.

A sanctioned separation lot was where soldiers went to attempt to separate from their dæmons, to stretch the bond and become like the Svalbard witches of old, able to travel distance from each other without feeling the crippling physical and emotional pain that came from pulling on the link. There weren't that many lots, because whatever it was that coated the ground, it wasn't a normal material, and sanctioned ones were only available to the military and the government. Even talking about separation was huge, and those who attempted had a limit of how many times they could try. Once per year and three total per _lifetime._ Hardened soldiers prepared for weeks, even months for separation training. There were those who tried and their bond to their dæmons snapped, leaving them Severed rather than separated. Or those who couldn't handle the stress and ended up dying, their dæmons vanishing in a swirl of Dust.

And sixteen-year-old Nick Cutter was going to break into a military property to try.

It wasn't something they had considered idly, like stealing a car on a dare. They'd been discussing it since last summer, and they had spoken of it so much, Nick began to doubt they would ever do it, but here they were. He climbed over the fence, having taken a set of wire cutters with him to open a little gap in the razor wire. The lot was about the size of the average car park, except it was completely empty and there were only three lines on the ground. One in the dead centre where they began, and then one on the opposite ends of the lot, where they finished. Nick would have to walk in one direction whilst Dìonadair walked the other, both of them pulling at the same time, for the bond to properly stretch.

From the moment they set foot on the black asphalt, he knew it wasn't normal. The fine hairs on his arms stood up, and Dìonadair bristled a little from anbaric pressure as well. He scrubbed his palms against his trouser legs to hide the fact that they'd gotten very sweaty. They crossed the empty lot to the white marker in the middle. The finish lines seemed an impossible distance away, though he knew it was only forty paces. Taking a trembling breath, Nick knelt down and ran his fingers through Dìonadair's fur, rubbing her soft fuzzy ears between his thumb and forefinger. "We can do this. We're tougher than this," he murmured.

"Or we could just be bonkers," she replied with a weak smile.

He smiled back a little, then sighed, "We've gotta let go of all this, Dìonadair. We both know we ain't kids no more." Even now, if he thought about it, he could feel the thick, hot tackiness of blood on his hands, smell burning rubber and hear ragged, panicked breaths. He shook his head to clear away those images.

Dìonadair stretched up to touch her cool nose to his. "Then let's do it. Ah'm ready if ye are," she said softly.

He nodded and stood up, turning his back to her as she turned from him. Forty paces. That was all it was. Forty paces. He could do it. _They_ could do it. Taking a deep breath, he began walking, counting each step he took. _One...two..._ And for each step he took, Dìonadair moved an equal distance in the opposite direction. By the time he reached three paces, he could already feel the tightness in his chest that signaled the limit of their bond. Gritting his teeth, Nick clenched his fists and kept walking. _Five...six..._

By ten steps, he was sobbing.

By fifteen steps, he thought he was dying.

By twenty, he wanted to die.

By thirty, he was certain he was already dead.

By thirty-five, he was in hell.

Nick fell to his knees, gasping at the _crushing_ – pain was too mild a word for what this was – that pressed down and soaked into and ripped through every nerve and pore. But then he managed to blink past the tears and realised what he was kneeling on. White painted asphalt. He'd made it to the other end of the lot. Ragged, sobbing breaths scraped down his raw throat, and with each gasp, the burning, tearing agony began to dissipate away, leaving only an aching in his bones.

And he could still feel Dìonadair.

There was a new sense of _elasticity_ to the bond, rather than the iron tether that it had been before, and he knew that like the witches of old, he and Dìonadair could be as far away from each other as they liked and not feel pain. Not that he'd ever want to be so far from her again.

Getting unsteadily to his feet and wobbling like a drunk, he staggered back across the lot towards Dìonadair, grinning like an idiot. She tottered over to him unsteadily, and he gathered her up in his arms, hugging her tight to his chest. And promptly passed out.

When he woke up, he was shivering from chill, and the eastern sky was starting to turn faintly pink. And there was a hand shaking his shoulder. Nick lifted his head groggily to see a wizened grey-haired man peering down at him, an equally grey possum clinging to his shoulder, twitching a small pink nose at Dìonadair. "If ye snuck out to get here, Ah suggest ye scarper home quick 'fore folk start wakin' up."

"Thank ye," Nick muttered as he got up, picking up his hat.

"Did ye do it?" the old man queried. He gestured to the expanse of the separation lot at Nick's puzzled look.

He squeezed Dìonadair closer to his chest. "Aye. We did."

The old timer nodded, reaching up to lightly stroke the possum's pointed muzzle. "Good lad. Well go on. Git," he said.

Nick gave another little nod and muttered thanks before running to climb over the fence where he'd gotten in, sprinting towards home. By the time he shimmied through his window and collapsed in bed, he was panting with a stitch in his side and light-headed, but he'd never felt happier. Dìonadair snuggled into his chest and purred until he fell asleep, both of them satisfied with the fact they both knew now that they could face anything this world had to offer.


End file.
